Scene 1: Recap

Rhomande: Well, my beloved audience, it sounds like things aren’t going so well for the Emperor and the Holy City of Sahn Daskaar.  Father Maldreth tells us that Makar has “made a movement” in some unknowable way, causing trouble with, for, or about the Outer Walls of the Holy City.  Well, Father Maldreth claims to know in which way the Father of War has “moved”, but such knowledge, according to the Patriarch of the Church of War, is, quote, “beyond the feeble ken of even my most faithful parishioners,” endquote.  But that’s only the biggest news from a city that, statistically speaking, you are not standing anywhere near, at the moment.  Instead, let us turn our attention back to Those Young Kingdoms and the Sea of Madness.  And who better to catch you up with the events of far-flung planes than the Dipson Memorial Action Town Criers?  We go now to our Anchorpaladin, Dame Hera Laris.

((Music: Ben Briggs – Star Clash Theme))

Hera: Thank you, Rhomande.  Tonight’s top story follows Imperial Mixed-Species Task Force Number 57822.

Rhomande: Ahem.  No.  Please, Dame Laris, use the new team designation that Sir Gnome gave you.

Hera: Excuse me.  I meant “Ironheel’s Imperial Pothse”… Led by Ormr Ironheel of the Clan of the Leaping Spears.  This springy dwarf and his nine companions have just received the Emperor’s Call, but before they can return to defend the Holy City of Sahn Daskaar, they must overcome a new–or perhaps an old–impediment.  Here’s the Criers’ own Pinky the Problematic Pixie with more.  Pinky?

Pinky: Thank you, Hera.  As you can see behind me on the scrycrystal, Ironheel’s Pothse entered the fabled Sea of Madness recently.  This area is known primarily for its eternal tumult, which is largely caused by enraged water and air elementals trying to rip each other in half.  Only the stupidest and the least mentally stable mariners in Those Young Kingdoms’ history have ever attempted to cross this patch of ocean.  None have ever returned to report their success, so we presume that all of them were killed in the most unspeakable ways.  We do, however, have confirmation that the Call of the Emperor has reached three nodes within Those Young Kingdoms.

Hera: Well, Pinky, getting the Emperor’s Call is always disorienting, but most people won’t have put themselves in such immediate danger, as Ormr and his group of adventurers often do.  What in the names of the Triple-Goddess caused Ironheel’s Pothse to enter such a dangerous zone of chaotic wilderness?

Pinky: Well, their halfling corsair, Portia Fireleaf, had steered them toward the Sea of Madness in order to take a shortcut toward the Red Arch of Dalathorn, where they were supposed to report to their local contact: an albino sorceror known as Morellian.  Unfortunately, Vornorroch of the Star Pastures was stricken by the Emperor’s Beacon, so Portia had to take over at the helm.  Miss Fireleaf promptly turned their ship 180° and fled Morellian’s ship, rather than face him at half strength.  We will update you as more information becomes available.  Back to you, Hera!

((Sfx: vornorroch snort))

Hera: Thank you, Pinky.  If you have any information on Those Young Kingdoms or on this Morellian individual, please report immediately to the Imperial Exploration and Task Service.  Unless you’re currently fleeing for your life through the quickly-collapsing streets of Sahn Daskaar, that is.  Up next: one surprising trick that can make you 40 silver pieces a day—without leaving your home!  But first, a word from our sponsors.

Rhomande: Lords and ladies of my beloved audience, please do recline upon your gilded seats, quaff your libations, and adjust your listening devices that you may fully immerse yourself in the sonorous soundscape that comprises your evening at The 20-Sided Theatre.