Scene 1: Recap and Story Thus Far

Rhomande: While my Insufferable Basterds spend the next few months traversing the open seas, with very little to break the monotony, I shall guide your attention toward a new group of heroes from the far off land of Rhios. Funny story, actually! Despite being on the same world as Imenand gabharan’s place of origin, the planet upon which Rhios sits is not part of the Holy and Venerable Empire of Voladros and the Uiadhenns. In any case, it is my pride and joy to reintroduce you to Chip Dipson’s Action Town Criers! What’s the news, Chip?

Chip: Thank you, Rhomande! Tonight’s top story involves the invasion, corruption, and cleansing of the oasis at Trur Dros. Two human females, claiming to be from a cult worshipping The Many, had driven away the townspeople so they could meet with us in private. Here’s The Wiz with more.

The Wiz: Those crazy broads wanted to kill me! Back to you, Chip!

Chip: Although no harm came to The Wiz, the two perpetrators are still at large. Here’s the Action Town Criers’ own Hera Laris with what the authorities are advising.

Hera: Thank you, Chip. One of these women dresses in blackened half plate with evil runes etched all over, and the other woman has a scar running in a line diagonally across her nose. If you see either of these women, do not approach them. Run to, yell for, scry at, or otherwise contact your municipal guard immediately. These women are to be considered dangerous, even when unarmed. I heard the following from an eyewitness at the scene, one Engar Flamehand.

Engar: I’ve seen a lot of things in my 82 years of life, but I ain’t never seen a woman punch a ghost so hard that she broke his nose. Not until yesterday, that is.

Hera: Again, if anybody has information on Peldra Kassin, Grestin Deepfathom, or the religious organization known as The Sisters of The Many, please contact the authorities immediately. Back to you, Chip.

Chip: Thank you, Hera. We have breaking reports of a group of adventurers now exploring Trur Dros in hopes of finding survivors of the event. Here’s Pinky the Problematic Pixie with more.

Pinky: I don’t get it. Why are you guys doing this? Who is this performance for? Adanska, what are you doing with that crystal? How are you even touching it? You’re a ghost.

Adanska: I don’t know either, but they give me seven gold sovereigns a week to psychically produce copyable scry crystals that I think they send off to other towns and cities. Just play along until they figure out what kind of correspondent you ought to be.

Pinky: Uh… okay. Is this conversation going to be part of the show?

Adanska: I dunno. Probably. But we really need to get back to looking for survivors, so the sooner we wrap this up, the better it’ll be for the survivors. Just play along, Pinky.

Pinky: Okay! (pause) Uh… Back to you, Chip!

Chip: More on this breaking story, after a word from our sponsor!

Rhomande: Hello. I’m Rhomande Sorfinde, and I am here to convince you to by Flamehand’s Aging Solution! Are you tired of your mortality? Master Engar Flamehand has developed what he calls “a thaumachronal acceleration loop”, in the hopes of avoiding death. You see, on his 80th birthday, Master Flamehand developed a solution that would halt his aging. Or so he thought. It turns out that the potion makes him age far more quickly than other beings, but after he turns 89, the magic takes effect and his body reverts to its physical state on his 80th birthday. So, if you’re afraid of death and you don’t mind eternally looping your life from 80 to 89 years old a few times a week, then you should try Flamehand’s Aging Solution today! I am Rhomande Sorfinde, and I swear I meant every part of everything I just said.

((Sfx: d20 roll for a Bluff Check))

Rhomande: Lords and Ladies of my beloved audience, please do recline upon your gilded seats, quaff your libations, and adjust your listening devices to receive the full stereophonic, scryocastic selection of sounds, that you may thoroughly enjoy your evening at The 20-Sided Theatre!