Scene 0:Show Opening & Theme Music

SFX: (90352_dobroide_20100213-tuning-02.wav)

Vragul: **From “offstage”** QUIET!! TIME FOR START SHOW! VRAGUL DEFEAT AUDIENCE!!

SFX: (2d20 rolls)

SFX: (pause)(51136_rutgermuller_Cough (short))

SFX: (two-count pause)

Rhomande: Hunh... that disembodied voice usually tells us what happened right after we try something. Oh, well. No competition!

Rhomande: Good evening Lords and Ladies. You have chosen your evening's entertainment --

Drowmande: (interrupting) Oh, no you don’t, treesleeper! This isn’t your theatre.

Rhomande: Hey, who the---

Drowmande: (interrupting) Ruffians! Wenches! Bloodthirsty degenerates of all ages! It’s Thursday night, and you know what that means! Welcome... to the Icosagon!

The Wiz: **From “offstage”** Dancing lights! SFX: (121558_sbarncar_whistleandreport.aif x 5 (bunched in time with opening of Theme Music)

Theme Music: (VCMG – Victory Flower Fields – 20-Sided Theatre Edit)

--> slight alteration?

SFX: (40555_frequman_pulley-2.wav)

Music Bed: (Sylvius Leopold Weiss – Courante in F Major.mp3)

Drowmande: We join our contestants...

Rhomande: (interrupting) Hey! We’re “heroes”!

Drowmande: Not while you’re here, you’re not.

(Sfx: d20 roll, fail)

Rhomande: (Strangled, angry sounds)

Drowmande: Ahem... Allow me to introduce you to our “Contestants” -- The Insufferable Basterds of Western Scottalia!

(Sfx: Crowd boo)

Drowmande: Thrimlach Lenanien! A blind Elf Sorcerer, stripped of all his attendants, charms, and poultices.

Thrimlach: Torrea? Ceatharan? Where is everybody? I can’t even see my hand in front of my familiar’s face! Sir Gnome, I know you’re somehow to blame for this... So help me I’m going to drop you in SUCH a maze!

Drowmande: Imenand Shenouda, known throughout The Empire as The Weaponsmith -- he serves as President and spokesman of The Shenouda Necromancy Corporation, and provider of the Icosagon’s more devious implements of carnage.

Imenand: SFX: (4914_noisecollector_cat2.wav) By Mëassë’s implacable hammer, when I get out of here, I’m going to incorporate you into your masters’ next device!

Drowmande: Issa Featherfoot, Pengonquin Princess. A sneaky, seven-foot-tall Werepenguin! It’s been quite a while since we had a good beast hunt, hasn’t it, folks?

Issa: (series of VERY angy penguin noises)

Drowmande: Quite a mouth -- er... beak, isn’t that? Who’s next? Ah, right! The terrible, towering Maldreth the Impius, the ogre-blooded Patriarch of the Church of War, dedicated to Makar, Father of Strife!

Maldreth: Ugh! None of you buffoons will receive the healing might of Makar’s Poleaxe until someone kills that gods-be-damned new voice.

Drowmande: His Majestic Terror, Vragul, son of Vorbal, King of Town Hall, King of Wagon, King of Docks, King of Wife, King of Bloodless Axe, and Baron of Keepfield!

Vragul: (snoring/sleeping) Zzzz.... king of potato.... king of rock... king of bed... zzzz

Drowmande: Stil Colemanaani, the Druid of the Frozen Summit! Tender of Western Scottalia's fields and forests, and Exchequer of Oak Vale.

Summit: By the Green Man’s Beard! I was just checking in on some of our properties, and now I’m here. Wherever here is...

Drowmande: And our leastmost challenger, some flamboyant elf called Rheumy Andy!

Rhomande: It’s Rhomande, and you know it! Sheesh... and I thought the last disembodied voice was bad.

Drowmande: Coves and Cozies of my blood-lusting audience, recline upon your gilded seats, quaff your libations and thoroughly enjoy your evening at The Icosagon of Ahk’rapp!

End Music Bed: (Sylvius Leopold Weiss – Courante in F Major.mp3)