Scene 1: Intro

Rhomande: In our lives, we dream and play at many things, yet we hold the conceit that only we imagine being other than we are.  How many of us have dreamed of knighthood, or wielding eldritch forces, or taking the forms of beasts?  And why should not all creation dream so?  The goddess Harvannë, in all her bounty, would reward the humblest of plants, allowing their afterlives to fulfill their deepest desires.  The heroes of Oak Vale and Western Scottalia were like many of us, having never thought to ask: Would a potato dare to dream of being King?

Scene 2: Potato Heaven

DM: You step through the portal and arrive in Outer Haikon, in the Plane of Potatoes.

Rhomande: I don my Cloak of Charisma!

Potato Groupie: He's soooo dreamy!

Issa: Rhomande, did one of your groupies follow us through the portal?

Thrimlach: The spell only transports 8, and we're all here.

DM: A bevy of potato bobbysoxers floods toward you, clamoring at the Illustrious Rhomande.

Potato Groupies: Can I have your autograph?  Give me your spuds!  Rhomande is sooo dreamy! Etc...

Issa: What is going on here?  Has your monkey been singing your praises since it was plane shifted here?

Rhomande: Everybody's heard of me. I have fans in this and every reality, Penguin.  And probably most timelines, as well... Hmmm... Need to look into that.  

DM: Torrea summons her paladin mount.  

Torrea: Spirit of the Swift Wind, come to me!

SFX: neigh, galloping sound

DM: Her horse gallops out of a starburst in the distance.  Spirit of the Swift Wind SFX: (neigh) floats on the air as he charges, gradually lowering until he alights gently on the grass before his paladin.  Potato birds softly chirp their sizzling songs.

Issa: Do potatoes have a natural predator here?

DM: Not on this plane.  Everything eats them in every other reality.  Here, the potatoes rule the land.

Imenand: Well, we are here to see the potato king.

Rhomande: Bardic Knowledge! SFX: (d20 roll) Indeed, we are, my friend.  The king of this land...

Thrim: (interrupting) wields the scepter in one hand, and the masher in the other!

Rhomande: Ahem.  The king of this place is known as Prautha the Masher.

Issa: Wait, what happens when potatoes die here?

DM: Nobody truly knows, but the prevailing theory is that when a potato dies here, it is born again in another reality, to feed all of creation.  Potato Heaven lasts for a long time - so long as to feel an eternity - but all potatoes will eventually grow again.

Tad: So, Potatoes believe in Reincarnation?

Rhomande: More of a Rein-Starch-Nation.

Issa: I hate you.